Ruined Journey

Another story I found this couple is experimenting with "ruined orgasms" and tell a little about how they implemented it into their chastity play. I think it sounds delightful....

So, today, we’re going to explore the infamous ‘ruined orgasm’. I’m sure some of you reading this are pros at these already, but for those who aren’t. The ruined orgasm is a wonderful tool in our denial handbag because while it lets him empty his balls it doesn’t give him any of the pleasure of a proper orgasm because you stop all stimulation as soon as he goes over the edge of climax (if not before) and his orgasm dribbles out of him. 

In general it also tends to keep them hornier than they would have been with a full orgasm.

Now the other thing I’m giving you today, is a script! This is something I’ve done a  few times, and the idea is you can use it to tease him, to give you some ideas of things to say, and to inspire you with other stuff you can make up yourself.

Ruined Orgasm Script

To follow it precisely he should start clothed and caged, and you should have his key on a necklace.Try not to ruin him till the end but if it happens earlier just use it as a chance to  see if he can go again!

Oh darling, are you all ready for your surprise? You’ve been so good, I know how horny you’ve been, and your poor penis, all locked up in that cage. I think it’s time for a reward, don’t you?

Let me see how you’re doing in there, strip down and show me. You can’t believe how much I love seeing you locked up in that thing. Isn’t that crazy? You know it actually turns me on to think of you in it, and to see your poor little penis all safe and secure.

Come lie here, let me hold it.

Mmmm, I love how tight and full your balls get, do they ache baby? Look how full they are, all that cum stored up. Do you think we should empty them out, would that be a good reward? Can you imagine how good it will feel? You like that idea… oh dear, look how hard you’re trying to get. It really turns me on to see that.

I’ve got your key on my necklace, do you like that? So near to my heart, and yet so far away from your lock…

Hmmm, maybe I’ll keep you in there just a little longer, my feet need a good rub. You do that while I decide if I am going to let you out yet…

Mmm, that feels lovely darling, keep going. I’m thinking of all the different ways I make you cum! What different ways can you think of?

Oh, those are good, I hadn’t thought of some of them! But yes, what I hoping to try giving you ruined orgasms. You know, where you cum, well, kind of cum, but we stop all the stimulation just before you do, so I still get to enjoy your cum flowing out, but it’s not like a full orgasm. Doesn’t that sound interesting?

The big advantage seems to be that you stay nice and horny afterwards. After all this time getting you so turned on it just seems a waste to lose it all and go back to square one, don’t you think?

Well, if you don’t want a ruined orgasm we can always just keep you caged up. It’s entirely your choice baby. Anyway, one of the blogs I was reading says ‘ruined’ isn’t really a great name for it, it’s just, different!

Doesn't that sound amazing, it just dribbles out, rather than spurts! Oh I wonder how that feels? I do love it when you jet out your big thick loads but this is sexy too, don’t you think? Especially if you make those oh so sexy little moans of yours.

Mmm, just thinking about it gets me horny. You can stop on my feet now, that was lovely, thank you. Now, get between my legs and give me some more attention while I decide.

If I’m going to ruin you, I want to do it properly. Hmmm, I wonder which works best completely taking my hands away or just holding the base.

I think I'll slowly stroke you right to the edge, and keep you there as long as I can. And then, when I think you’ve reached the point of no return just stop stroking and hold you, and watch. I think I might giggle too, is that bad. It’s such a hot mix of being curious and being mean, knowing how good it would feel if I just stroked a little more, and just not doing it, because I can. Because it’s hotter to keep you horny and attentive, than to give you that pleasure you crave so much.

The lovely thing is I can risk taking you over of course. Often when I’m edging you I’m worrying about not taking you too far so I back off a bit, but if I’m going to ruin you anyway I can really go to town trying to keep you on the edge.

But you have to promise to tell me when you’re close, okay? If you spurt and you haven't’ told me I’ll be cross! I want to see just how close I can get you, and try to keep you there for a bit.

Actually the real trick is stopping and waiting, apparently it can take up to ten seconds for you to go over. The best kind of ruins are supposed to be where I’ve not stroked you right to the edge, but let you just slip over after pausing.

I say ‘best’, what I mean is that it will make your cum slowly pour out of you rather than spurt. That’s what I really want to see today, even if it takes a few tries.

I do like watching, and feeling you spurt but somehow it’s really hot to think of it flowing out of you. 

Oh yes, that’s a big advantage I didn’t mention did I? Often when you’ve only been ruined, I can just keep going and do it again, and again. Oh maybe I can completely empty your balls! I wonder if that really happens, actually run dry! That would be so hot!

So I’ve read some keyholders only ever let their partners have ruined orgasms! Do you think that’s real or just a fantasy?

Apparently you start to crave even that little bit of release. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine being so desperate you’ll beg to to be ruined, not even to have an orgasm?

Gosh, maybe I’ll like it so much it’s all I’ll let you have in future.

I do love making you cum, but the contrast afterwards is so stark, maybe if a ruined cum means you stay much more horny and attentive then that’s the way to go? I guess we’ll find out.

I’ve decided, I want to ruin you, I want to see how well I can do it.

No? You’d rather have a nice big full orgasm? Well sorry chastity boy, that’s not on offer today. Nope, I can stop now and lock you back up again, or I can ruin you, which would you like it to be?

No, don’t just say it, ask for it, make me believe it. ‘Please ruin my orgasm’.

But today, yes today I think it’s all about practising.

I want to see if we can just make it ooze out like i read about. So what we’re going to do is get you right to the edge, and then I’m going to slide my hand down just as you I think you’re ready to go over. And I’m going to hold it for ten whole seconds, yep, that’s what they recommend. And if you don’t go over, I’ll do it again, and again, and again until we tip you over that edge. Feel free to beg to cum, I’m going to ignore you, but it’s kind of hot hearing you say it.

Now, I want you to tell me when you’re close, tell me what to do to keep you right on the edge, what feels best.

How full do your balls feel baby, is it going to be good to empty them at last? Is it hot or frustrating knowing that I’m just going to ruin it? I have to be honest, the thought is really turning me on.

Then again, I could just get you to make me cum again and we can lock you back up. You don’t seem that desperate to be ruined, are you?

Really, are you sure, say it again, tell me you want me to ruin your orgasm.

Mmm, I do love how that sounds, come on then…

Does that feel good baby? I love it when you’re this horny. Are you ready honey, ready to be ruined?

Finally take him over the edge if you haven’t already!

Oh no, that spurted far too much. Hmm, I wonder how much is still in there. I read on one blog I can ruin you a few times in a row. Let’s see if we can do better this time.

And continue as you wish, locking him back afterwards. Maybe tell him if you can ruin him four times you will let him stay unlocked overnight…

I hope you got some good ideas from this post.

The science behind; why does he enjoy this

Why does he enjoy this type of play? That is the question that ran through my mind, as I researched this topic and found a lot of information. This is from the article that I read and I hope it helps you like it did me. 

Medically speaking what does he get from this?

You might not have considered it, but have you ever thought about how your sex life affects your mood? On some careful research and thinking about your own behavior, you might come to conclusion and discover a relationship between sex and mood. Indeed, upon some in depth research we have concluded that the relationship between one’s mood, and sexual activity and orgasm are not considered to be the greatest of mysteries. Indeed, there is a well-researched scientific basis on understanding the biochemical mechanisms that occur before, during and after sexual gratification. In this article, we will explore the relationship between the brain, sexual release, and the science behind male chastity. This in turn, may help you answer some of the questions that you might have had which concerned male chastity, or they might lead to a flurry of research whereby you can explore male chastity in new and profound ways. As we have mentioned elsewhere, to reduce male chastity to the denial of orgasms is simplistic and doesn't accurately reflect male chastity as a whole.

Science of male chastity

The brain is a complex organ and we understand that it is driven by a number of varying neurotransmitters which we can hold accountable for changing our moods throughout the day, and indeed over the course of our lives. But there are only a couple of these neurotransmitters which are also involved with sexual activity; these three being dopamine, prolactin and oxytocin. Men and women can be said to have distinctly different patterns and responses to these neurotransmitters and the argument behind that is that it centres on our ability, needs and desires to procreate as well as to raise our off-spring so that they too can survive long enough to procreate. Why don't some people feel this need or urge? Well that relates to the fourth factor which is the concentration of receptors for those neurotransmitters and this in particular relates to how the human body handles dopamine. Let’s break down these three neurotransmitters and how they affect our body, and our responses to sexual activity before we move on to how that relates to male chastity.

What is Dopamine:

Dopamine is commonly associated with the brains reward and pleasure centers. It can cause feelings of pleasure if we partake in certain activities, such as sexual activity, the consumption of calorie rich foods, the ingestion of drugs, or other behaviors such as shopping and gambling. Dopamine is often referred to as the addictive hormone - people with low dopamine levels have been shown to have higher risks of suffering from addictions. Surprisingly, it is dopamine which is also partially responsible for Parkinson’s disease which sees people with a dopamine deficiency potentially developing the illness. The intense pleasure that we obtain from orgasms is as a result of dopamine flooding our reward centers in our brain during sexual activity.

Normal/Elevated Dopamine Levels: 
Normal levels of dopamine can result in motivation, contentment, an ability to gather pleasure from finishing tasks, optimism, kindness and good natured feelings towards others and bond with them as well as a healthy libido.

Low Dopamine Levels: 
Lower levels of dopamine can result in depression and an inability to function within the world due to a lack of ambition and drive, it can also result in an inability to feel certain emotions such as love, and often manifests itself into impaired judgement, lack of remorse and social anxiety. Low dopamine levels also adversely affect the libido.

What Is Prolactin:

Prolactin is an interesting neurotransmitter and it is named after its ability to affect lactation levels in women. This neurotransmitter has over 300 uses within the body, but it's effects on the orgasm are well researched in comparison to other uses. An orgasm, through either physical sex or masturbation, will result in a large amount of prolactin being released into the body. It is this chemical which results in a better mood following sexual activity, and can last for over an hour. Prolactin and Dopamine rely on each other for context and control when it comes to sexual activity. Prolactin in men directly affects the refractory period before they can maintain an erection and engage in sexual activities again. The older that you get, the more prolactin is produced in men. Males with a deficiency in prolactin are often able to engage in sexual activity multiple times within a very short amount of time, or they will not lose their erection after climaxing.

Excess levels of prolactin are commonly associated with irritability, decreased testosterone, and a substantial loss of libido.

What Is Oxytocin:

Often call the love drug - oxytocin is responsible for the feelings of trust, connectedness, closeness and protection. A burst of oxytocin is produced during orgasm and it is often attributed to the afterglow that we feel post sexual activity. Oxytocin is released during all forms of intimate activity, which includes touching, hugging and caressing. After orgasm, in men, the levels of oxytocin quickly plummet until they are below where they were before sexual activity, whereas in women it will lower itself much more slowly, often remaining higher than it was initially. The reasons for this remain largely unclear, though speculation exists that it is linked to ideas of empathy and is a necessary part of bonding, child birth, and child rearing, this also means that post orgasm that women are far more likely to let their guard down and fall in love.

Normal/Elevated levels of Oxytocin:
This is the love drug after all and as such elevated levels will result in strong and powerful feelings of emotion, a sense of devotion and closeness, an increased sense of positivist, and feelings or protection and responsibility.

Low Oxytocin Levels:
Sees a reduction of feelings of attachment and connection, it is also responsible for low libido and depression, as well as a reduction of empathy towards others.

How Does This Affect A Man In Chastity?

We just spoke about how an orgasm results in a substantial drop after an orgasm in a male, with the females drop occurring more slowly in the sense of a plateauing effect. What if we were to avoid this sudden drop by removing it all together? In detailed blogposts by Sarah Jameson on her website male chastity blog, she details how after each orgasm there would be a period of time where her partner, John, would not be as engaging in the sense of serving and helping, as he was before his orgasm. She timed this sensation to last for a period of between 7-10 days and she has used this tracking to expand the periods as to which he remains caged. If we switch John to engaging in sexual activity once or twice per week, which could be considered to be normal, then the levels of the neurotransmitters which we have just discussed would never really stabilize and as such it would be a continual roller coaster ride of emotions.

male chastity and marriage:

The most important thing to consider here would be the constant fluctuation of oxytocin levels which are responsible for John’s moods, and his ability to engage in intimate activities with his wife through touching, caressing and other variations of this. For an individual who engages in chastity, or in the case of John has multiple orgasms on a honeymoon like weekend every few months, then he will still experience the immediate downward spiral as a result of the neurotransmitters and his mood will still change as a result of having low dopamine levels and higher prolactin levels.

Unlike his peers though, who will continually have orgasms within the dopamine recovery period, John does not and therefore will not suffer from the fluctuation of the neurotransmitters in the same way as his peers. Indeed, within the fortnight his dopamine levels will have returned to a state of relative normalcy and will continually increase over time through frequent sexual play and through intimacy with his partner whereby he does not get sexual release. One could even argue that a male in a chastity device will have increased levels of dopamine in his system, due to the presence of the chastity cage which he finds arousing.

There are a few theories which suggest that this fluctuation in males is as a result of the need to procreate; that being to get his sexual partner pregnant and then disengage from sexual activity leaving her in a flat lined state of emotions that specialize in empathy and caring and 'motherly' natures, that she can use to then deal with pregnancy, child birth, and ultimately child-rearing. This mechanism is cyclic in the sense for a male and probably can be related to gene survival; it would be beneficial for a male to engage in a quantity and variety of sex to ensure it is his genes which are being reproduced across the spectrum and combining them with different women to ensure a mix of children within a short period of time.

Modern medicine has grown our life expectancy to around 80 years, vastly different in comparison to the early 19th century where the average life expectancy was considered to be around 30 years. Indeed, studies suggest that since 1900, the average life expectancy has doubled. Could we then attribute that to the suggestion humans may or may not be geared for monogamous lives as our life expectancy has almost tripled in such a short space of time? We could probably make that argument, especially considering reports that couples in relationships of chastity experience substantially lower rates of divorce and separation than their non-chastity counterparts. Certainly, an interesting thing to consider.

The art of the Ruined Orgasm

The Art of The Ruined Orgasm

A ruined orgasm is when you stop providing stimulation to the penis when it starts to cum or right before it starts to cum, thereby ruining the orgasm.  The man may feel a brief moment of pleasure but then it immediately vanishes leaving him frustrated.  I have to admit that I get a thrill from seeing the desperation in his eyes from wanting to have an orgasm.  Some may consider this cruel, but the man enjoys ruined orgasms because it is another form of control that he gets to experience. Denying his orgasm keeps him feeling submissive and controlled and helps to focus his attention on your pleasure.  He craves thelse feelings and enjoys the mental game. Making ruined orgasms a normal part of play makes experiencing a full blown orgasm mind blowing and is a very special privilege that is enjoyed more and he will show his appreciation for being allowed to have it.

The thrill and arousal that I experience from his ruined orgasm is only a part of the reason I do it.  I also consider the ruined orgasm a powerful tool for controlling him and keeping him obedient and attentive to my needs.  The biggest advantage of a ruined orgasm is that it allows the man some release but avoids the post orgasm "slump" that most men experience after a full orgasm.  The slump I am referring to is when the man loses all energy and loses interest in sex and pleasing the woman.  After a ruined orgasm, many men do not experience the slump or it is very brief.  The penis will often remain hard after the ruined orgasm and the level of horniness remains high as well.

The ruined orgasm is a tool to add to your bag of tricks. You can tell your man that he is gong to have an orgasm and then you ruin it.  Incorporating this into teasing and denial keeps your man guessing about what to expect next.  Now he won't even know if it will be a full orgasm or ruined orgasm will be a fun mind game to play. 

Ruining his orgasm also prolongs his denial period. He gets some release but not a full orgasm.  Therefore you choose the timeframe of when he is allowed a full orgasm versus ruined orgasms.

The most pleasurable element of male orgasm isn’t the orgasm itself, but the heightened sensitivity of the penis, particularly the glans, during orgasm. If all sensation is denied the moment his orgasm starts, the pleasure is reduced by a good 80%. A ruined orgasm also often leaves him feeling slightly unsatisfied and eager for more reward, which is a better option for keeping him in the proper mindset.

Now some methods of how to ruin the orgasm.  As the title of this blog indicates, it is more of an art than a science.  There are many techniques and approaches to the ruined orgasm. You can get very creative with it.  Each person is different and as you get to know your man's reactions, you can adjust your techniques to maximize his teasing.

The most basic approach is to stroke the penis and then at the moment he first spurts you release his penis and let it twitch and spurt on its own.  He will experience very brief pleasure at the first spurt but then once you release and there is no friction the orgasm becomes ruined and he is left frustrated.  This is a good way to introduce him to the ruined orgasm.  

Another technique is to release the penis before he starts to cum.  This may take some practice because you have to anticipate when the orgasm is coming.  If you spend a considerable amount of time teasing your guy or if he has been denied an orgasm for a long period of time, this becomes easier to do. I will often bring him to the edge, also known as edging , of orgasm over and over again, stopping before he has an orgasm.  I will do this for 30 or more minutes. Usually by then he is mush and can barely control himself.  If I decide to go the ruined orgasm route, I will lightly stroke his penis with one or two fingers.  It literally twitches and bobs as he tries to hold back his orgasm.  At this point, if I gave him permission to orgasm, I could stroke with one finger and then he would shoot.  I prefer to tell him to try not to orgasm.  I enjoy seeing him struggle.  He eventually gets to a point where he can't hold back.  The fun part with this is that I can do a stroke or two and then watch his penis as he struggles to prevent his orgasms.  There have been times when I have stroked his penis and then watched him struggle for 20 or 30 seconds and then he spurted without me touching him.  That is art!  It is beauty to see him struggle and work so hard to please and obey me.  It is also a power rush to know that I control him so much and that no matter how hard he tries he can not stop me from giving him a ruined orgasm.  In these situations I don't feel that it is fair to punish him for having an orgasm without permission.  However,  I usually give him the disappointed look and tell him how weak he is.

The variations (both mental and physical) you can apply to the above two techniques are endless and that's what makes is fun.  Some variations to experiment with:

• Tell him to try and orgasm while you tease him or tell him try not to orgasm while you tease him.  Imagine the fun of him trying to orgasm only to have you pull away at the last second and leave him with nothing.  Do this a few times and then send him over the edge and let go.
• Use your hands, mouth, tongue, panties, feathers, etc. to tease him. One of the most interesting videos I watched was a woman that held her man's cock straight up and she very slowly licked from bottom  to top until he spurted.
• Make him ruin the orgasm himself.  This is a good test of his loyalty. Will he let go before he spurts (bonus points for him), at the first spurt (good boy), or will he push the envelope and hold on a little longer after he spurts (bad boy.  Punishment time!).

Experiment and have fun with the variations.  I think it is great to always keep the man guessing as to what will happen next. 

And PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT that’s the best part: if you’re not practiced at this and aren’t sure how he’ll react, you can start practicing immediately! Ruined orgasms can also be combined with related play like edging.