What Is a Chastity Cycle?
A chastity
cycle is 30 days in chastity without an orgasm. When beginning chastity
play, it is just that: /play/. You are unsure how it will work or
benefit you. Giving it a few days at first is great, but it does not
help you understand how chastity play enhances your relationship. It
simply helps you decide if Relationships are like underwear. Unless you
keep things fresh, they can go bad pretty
quickly.
There
are four phases of a chastity cycle. During each of these phases, he
will need different things from his Keyholder. Bear in mind that these
phases are more like interchangeable parts than predictable patterns
within a chastity cycle.
They each take place within a
man’s cycle of chastity, but they may not occur in the same order every
time. Nor may they last the same amount of time each time they occur.
Accurate and open feedback during chastity play is vital for you to know
how to lead and support one another.
Phase 1: Arousal
As
a man enters chastity, his senses become heightened. He becomes more
physically sensitive to every pleasurable sensation, as well as to
stimuli he never perceived pleasurable before.
For
example, the feeling of a soft breeze brushing across his bare skin will
give him goose-flesh and pucker his nipples. He will luxuriate in these
heightened sensations and he will want to play more frequently during
this time.
I offer Dylan more tease and denial play, or
I arrange to cuckold him during this phase. This capitalizes on the
natural emotions, physical sensation and psychological state he is
experiencing during this time.
Phase 2: Emotional
Once
the arousal phase passes, the emotional phase quickly takes hold. This
goes well beyond the common feelings often experienced immediately or
shortly following intense play.
The emotional phase is a
prolonged state of being where a man requires more intimacy,
reassurance, and bonding. This is a great time to go on dates, either
away from home or at home to maintain or restore the value-purpose
balance in your relationship. Create time to practice transparent
honesty, non-sexual intimacy, and learn more about one another.
In
addition to date nights, I offer Dylan intimacy through personal
service and training because he loves being of service. This fulfills
his need to feel purposeful and helps us grow closer.
Phase 3: Reactance
Reactance
theory states that people will often resent the loss of a freedom and
will rebel by doing the opposite of what they are told.
This
phase is often where most people struggle with what they perceive to be
“relationship problems” or “chastity problems.” Arguments, even
seemingly petty ones, ensue more frequently. This is a time when newly
established power dynamics teeter if not built on a solid foundation.
Carefully
review what you have learned from The FCR Concept as a whole, as well
as any guidelines or rules you have set in place for your relationship.
Employ domestic discipline (i.e. spanking, corner time, extra chores,
writing lines, etc.) to encourage better behavior or corrective behavior
in your supportive partner. You will find these tools most useful
during this phase.
When Dylan struggles with
psychological reactance, he needs more domestic discipline and
conditioning. I offer this to him, within his physical limits, according
to the agreement we have.
Phase 4: Plateau
The
final phase in a chastity cycle, before a new cycle begins, is the
plateau. During this phase, a man finds he is low on energy, so focus on
restorative activities. He may struggle to think straight, concentrate,
or remember simple tasks. Grant him some leeway during this time with
gentle reminders, provided he is not deliberately belligerent in his
actions, which is a clear sign that he is still in phase three.
Instead,
create time in his schedule for a nap or increased down time. Encourage
more frequent journaling to help clear his head and enable him to
express all that he is experiencing during this phase. Though the
plateau phase is a restful phase physically, there is much going on
inside your supportive partner’s mind! Journaling is a wonderful tool to
share all those delicious thoughts in preparation for the next cycle.
When
Dylan reaches his plateau, he needs rituals and rest. I offer him more
vanilla activities like date nights for the two of us focusing on his
interests. Keeping the home mellow and calm is important for him, too,
because he is introverted.
I may even pamper him a bit
by serving him calming tea or giving him a massage. Likewise, giving him
plenty of introspective quiet time to himself to read, write in his
journal, or simply sit quietly and pet his favorite cat is important.
What to Expect During a Chastity Cycle
As
the Keyholder, you can have all the sexual attention you want. There
are even strap-ons designed to go over a chastity device! As the
keyheld, you can come out of your chastity device for hygiene,
inspections and tease and denial play. The /only/ thing you cannot do is
have a traditional orgasm during your cycle. This means that you may
not have direct or indirect stimulation to your penis that results in
ejaculation.
Overall, the desired effect of a chastity
cycle is twofold. It makes you acutely aware of all your needs in your
relationship. More importantly, you become more in tune with your
Keyholder’s needs. Once that base urge has no outlet, the shift in
perception toward other things is inevitable. You will notice all the
minute details about your Keyholder that make her uniquely sexy. Plus,
you will have the time, energy, and attention level to work on your
relationship.
Now, for a word of caution. /Beware of
the tricks your mind will play/. While you are in chastity for 30 days,
your mind will play tricks on you. You will question whether you will
ever be set free again.
Irrational fears may come up during this time. This is an opportunity to practice transparent honesty, and ask for reassurance.
